Merry Christmas.

Today is my last weigh in before Christmas, I am nervous because I've been good but I don't think I've lost anything. Infact I think I have gained which is quite deeply disappointing but I've got my Christmas wish which was to get my 10st award, I also had a cheeky 5.5lb off on top of that which makes me 1.5lb away from next award. I'm not going to bank on receiving that tonight but if I do I'll be extremely made up. I said I was only going to have 4 days off plan over Christmas but I've changed my mind I'm not going to go over board but if I fancy something I will have it. I'm still going to be having slimming world meals so that counts for something, right?

I'm so excited for Christmas day,I get to spend it with my family but my dad has to go to work at 7pm which isn't fair at all. This is going to be a strange Christmas for us this year, as we won't be spending it with my Auntie Sonya who sadly passed away at the beginning of this year.We have always had Christmas dinner with my Auntie and Uncle but sadly thats not going to be the case this year. My Uncle isn't going to be spending it with us either as he is in a care home with Dementia. So this year is going to be tough and there will probably be a few tears. Myself and Ashley are going to be facetiming when he gets home from work which will be torture not being able to open presents all day haha! But we did it last year so it's important to us that we do it again this year as I like seeing his reaction to the presents I've got him. I'm spending Boxing Day at Ashleys which is going to be so much fun because his mum has ordered so much food. I'm foaming at the mouth just thinking of it all. I love food and I'm not going to deny myself any, Christmas comes but once a year so it isn't going to make me gain the 10st that I've lost.

I've had such an incredible weekend, I went to watch the final Hobbit movie in 3D with Ashley. Omg if you haven't been to see it yet, you need to! It was amazing. I filled up, laughed and got a little bit excited sometimes haha. I'm so sad it's all over now. I'm off college and placement for 2 weeks which is great but I do miss the two lovely ladies on my course that I sit with. It's nice to be able to make friends after being so scared of doing so for the past 5 years.

I'm excited to see what 2015 brings me, I just hope it doesn't bring any pain after what 2014 has brought me. Losing my Auntie on top of a lot of other things has been very difficult but I want 2015 to be brighter and happier thats all I can wish and pray for. I send you all my love and I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and New Year and all your dreams come true. I probably won't be blogging until after the New Year now as I don't think I'll have the time. I shall try and make time!

So much temptation.

I seriously don't know how I'm surviving right now. So much chocolate and biscuits etc in the house and I'm sat here having just put two eggs in to boil so I don't eat anything bad. I have two weigh in's left until christmas and I want to do well on both so I can enjoy my christmas. It's so frustrating though I hate saying no to chocolate, I look forward to monday nights after weigh in so much so I can eat like a complete and utter pig and not feel guilty. It's soul destroying having tubs of quality streets knowing I can't touch them because once I have 1 I'll want the tub. I shall stick to my 1 syn advent calendar chocolate every morning. I just wish I could be one of those people that can say bugger it it's christmas but I'm too scared to gain weight, it's a nightmare. I will be enjoying christmas day etc though because I think I deserve it.

This blog post is preventing me from scoffing so I'm sorry if this makes you want to eat all the food in your house. Just do what I'm doing two boiled eggs! Your arse may stink all night but at least you won't gain weight! Monday is only 2 days away, I'm looking forward to going out for tea Monday night and eating/drinking what I want.

I hope you've all had a great week and weekend. Good luck for next weeks weigh in's.

Another one bites the dust.

So tonight was weigh in and I lost 1lb, I'm super happy about this because I've not had losses for 7 weeks on the bounce for ages! Shows the plan still is working for me, I'm putting the work in and I'm getting losses back. They may not be big losses but to me they are. I've just pigged out not going to lie, but I shall be back on plan first thing in the morning. I've just made a quick syn free stir-fry for my dinner tomorrow at placement. I'm really looking forward to the Christmas holidays, only 2 more weeks to go after this week. I need to start finishing my christmas shopping now, I've still got so much left to do. I'm not worrying about the Christmas period this year I'm going to enjoy my 4 days off plan (Christmas day, Boxing day, New years eve and New years day) if I gain, I gain. It will be nothing to how much I've lost already.

I know every post consists of my boyfriend but this weekend has been so lovely. I've never been able to give my full attention to somebody for so long. May that because I've been cheated on or I just lose interest really easily. This time it's so completely different, I can't lose interest. Every bit of our relationship is exciting. A trip to Morrisons for some dinner is fun because he isn't boring and he makes me laugh until it hurts. I don't think anybody could possibly understand the connection and bond we have. He makes me feel like a princess but he also keeps me on my toes, I've never in my life met somebody that could make me so happy and feel so in love as I do with Ashley. I'd do anything in the world for him and I know he'd do the same, he's always got my back when everything feels too much for me. He's my bestest friend in the whole wide world and I never want to be without him. I know this may sound soppy and I'm a lot soppier than him because he will only ever tell me how he feels but I wouldn't give him up for all the money in the world.

I hope your all your weeks go well and weigh in's too.

10 stone lighter.

So as of Monday night I am now 10 stone lighter. I lost half a pound and received my 10 stone award, I am over the moon even if it was just half a pound. After all it was the half a pound I needed :D I now weigh 13st 11lb I'm hoping I can push for my 10 and a half stone award for christmas as there is still 4 weeks to do it 2lb a week and it will easily be mine. But even if I don't I got my christmas wish of getting my 10 stone award anyway.

I went to the christmas markets after weigh in on Monday night, I really enjoyed myself. It's lovely spending Monday nights with Ashley :) I'm off to Stoke tomorrow to spend the weekend at Ashley's house. I can not wait to see him, I've only been away from him for a day or so! I've not been very well the past couple of weeks so I'm hoping that will shift soon as the pain I'm going through is unbearable, I'm on so many tablets I could actually be a walking chemist!

I hope you are all having a good week and have a great weekend.

Jump up and down, do an extra wee!

So last week after losing half a pound this week I lost 2lb! This is awesome but.. when I stood on the scales it said 13.11 which I need to be for my 10st award but it kept flickering to 13.11 1/2 and then stayed. My consultant told me to go for an extra wee and jump up and down so I went and did that haha but it didn't work. Next week it will be mine, I'm so determined now I will get that half a pound off next week because my wall is longing for my next certificate! I'm so happy I'm still losing though and that I will get my christmas wish of my 10st award way before christmas arrives, this means I can attempt to at least be in the lower end of the 13st bracket before santa arrives. I want to be able to enjoy my christmas 10st lighter. I'm not going to go overboard all christmas, I'm just having christmas day, boxing day, new years eve and new years day off plan. I'm spending boxing day at Ashley's this year which will be lovely.

I had such a lovely weekend in Stoke, we went to watch Interstellar which is amazing.We went to the quarter to 11 showing and didn't get back until gone half 2 in the morning! I don't get to see Ashley until Sunday now which makes me sad because I hate being apart from him. I miss having lots of cuddles (we cuddle a lot).

I had some really sad news this dinner time too, my family doctor that I have for my 23 years of existence passed away over the weekend. I was heartbroken and I had to leave placement early, knowing him that long and have a lovely bond with him because he knew the in's and outs of my life. You could confide in him and he was an excellent listener. I also called him dad when I was 4 years old haha. I only saw him Friday morning and he couldn't believe how much I had changed as I hadn't been for a year. He told me how proud he was and how happy he is for me to be finally getting my life back and how much weight I have lost. He looked so well and happy like he normally does so to hear he had died a day later really upset me. It's going to be hard to find a doctor that will fill his boots now. On friday when I was leaving I said see you soon and he said not too soon I hope. I'm absolutely gutted. He will be deeply missed not just by me but all the 1,000s of patients that constantly ask for him when they go into the surgery.

I hope you all have an excellent week and weigh in goes well for you all.

ERMAHGLOB.

Okay so if you follow me on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter you've probably already seen this and know how extremely happy I am. I thought I'd bore you all on here too! I've just been to asda with my mum after town and I was saying to my mum how my size 14 coat was getting a bit big on me and I have to keep pulling the strings in so it fits, I saw a size 12 coat hung up so I decided to try it on to see if it would fit. Of course I assumed it wouldn't but what was the harm in trying? Asda's coats are really true to size as well as I've struggled in the past to fit into their coats. I tried the size 12 on and to my surprise and amazement it bloody fit me! It wasn't tight either. I didn't buy it because I love my red coat I got from Debenhams so I'm not ready to part with that just yet. But I am so happy to be able to say I fit into a size 12, I've gone from a size 28-30 so to me this is such an amazing moment I'm on cloud 9. 10 dress sizes dropped, it's gobsmacking. Slimming world has changed my life and I will forever praise their plan and recommend it so much to people that love food but want to lose weight.

This week I've not been feeling too great I have awful pains in my stomach and the right bottom side of my back. I don't think I will have a loss on Monday at weigh in but possibly a gain even though I've been really good. Hopefully I'm wrong and I will get what I want, which is to be in the 13st bracket. I hope your weeks are going well!

My sincere apologies.

Hi everyone, I am so so sorry I have completely abandoned my blog again! My life is just mayhem at the moment so I barely find the time to get on my laptop unless its to do my assignments. I'm in a very good place at the moment, I've started my placement at such a lovely day nursery. I'm really enjoying myself there and the compliments I receive whilst I'm there are overwhelming it's nice to know I'm doing a good job. I feel so comfortable and welcomed and everybody is just so nice. I am still sticking to slimming world and have been weighed tonight, I lost 1.5lb and I have now lost 9st 11lb which means I am 3lb away from receiving my 10st award! So excited! I weigh 14st exactly now, I really hope I can get into the 13st bracket next week, I will be over the moon and it will mean all this hard work is paying off.

I had my first observation at placement today, it went really well. I passed it with flying colours which I'm made up with. Even in all the hecticness that's going on I'm still spending time with my favouritest person in the whole world Ashley. He's been my biggest support through all of this, he's helping me so much. I'm the luckiest girl in the world to have him, I don't know what I've done to deserve him but I'm so glad he's mine. I really couldn't imagine my life without him nor do I ever want to. We've been together a year and 4 months on Saturday, I'm not seeing him until Sunday now though which makes me sad because whilst he's at my house Monday and Tuesday I'll be in placement but I get to spend the afternoon/evening with him. I can't wait!

I hope you all are doing swimmingly, Christmas is only 7 weeks away!!

It's been too long.

I'm so sorry I haven't posted since August! Life has been pretty hectic, tough also. I recently started college and I'm really enjoying it so far. I've ate so much food, some of which has been not so good for me. But I'm back on track now! I had a lovely break in London last month with Ashley, I gained 13.5lb but lost 10 and a half of it the week after which was an awesome moment. I didn't go to group this week as I've not been feeling myself and have been really poorly. I've drank volvic lemon and lime water (sugar free of course) like it's going out of fashion.
Last week I went to the opticians for my eyes checked because I haven't had them checked in over 2 years. The lady noticed I squint quite a lot when I'm looking at things far away. She then told me I'm short sighted which was quite amusing to hear because I've never had a problem with my eyes before but I suppose spending so much time in front of a computer has finally taken its tole! So I'm now the proud owner of some very geek chic spectacles!
I'm still very much in love with Ashley, we've been together for a year and 3 months today.
Christmas is getting so close now! I'm so excited, I love the fact it's cold as I love wearing jumpers. The fire is blaring every night and the heating gets turned on in the mornings so winter is definitely coming!
Last month I finally got to meet 3 of my favourite slimming worlders, one of which I have known since I was 16/17 but never got the chance to meet. I met Emma, Katie and James. We went to Liverpool where Em was staying with her lovely friend Shirley and we all went to Nando's it was amazing night, it was nice because they got to meet Ashley too!

I'm really hoping for a good loss on Monday, I also start my placement at a private day care nursery which I'm really nervous about. I hope it goes well.
Hope you are all well.

The long overdue catch up.

I have been AWOL for a few weeks, I needed a little break and just have time to myself. My weight loss had been a little crap to be honest. I built myself up to get my 9 and a half stone award and crumbled because I gained after being so good. But last week I did get it, I lost 1lb at another group which is in Stoke. I went in very nervous but the consultant was absolutely lovely, she made me feel so welcome as did her group members. When I told her I was visiting she asked how I have been doing and when I told her how much I'd lost she was amazed and asked if I had any before and after pictures. I shown her my latest one and a few of her members had a look too and they were so lovely and gave me so many compliments. I can't wait to go back to their group again! Which will be in 2 weeks time. It's a morning group too which I find better because I hate having to wait all day to eat properly. I missed weigh in last week due to being at Leeds Fest until Monday morning and I went straight to Ashley's so I booked a holiday. I know I would have gained which I'm fine with but hopefully being back on plan this week will have lightened the load.

Leeds Festival was absolutely incredible, we lived like tramps for the weekend but I can now die happy after seeing my favorite men perform live (ARCTIC MONKEYS). The whole weekend was just amazing, I've seen so many bands some of which I never really thought I'd enjoy but I did. On the Friday the best moments for me were seeing Macklemore & Ryan Lewis and Blink 182. Saturday was Papa Roach and Paramore (I felt 13 again) and Sunday, well, Sunday was the best bloody day! Imagine Dragons were just amazing, Jake Bugg and then the reason I wanted to go to the festival in the first place Arctic Monkeys they closed the whole weekend with such an amazing performance. I danced my sore little feet off and sang every song. It made being smelly and people throwing urine in cups every where worth while. I really hope the line up next year is amazing as I'd love to go again.

I hope you all have a brilliant weekend and you've not missed me too much.

So apprehensive!!!

So I've completed a full week of red days and I'm just hoping that I've done enough to get a good loss this week especially after the half a pound gain last week. I don't feel bloated, I feel like I've done enough but whether I have or not is down to the scales tonight. I'm currently cooking butternut squash circles so I can make a ham butty for my dinner! Butternut squash is an awesome substitute for bread and it gives you extra super free. I will let you know how I do on instagram later and I will do a blog post tomorrow at some point. I really want to be in my 13's by next week because we go to Leeds fest but to do that I need to lose 6lb (which would make me 13.13 and 1/2) and I some how don't think that's going to happen but I have 2 weigh in's to do it.

I'm feeling a bit sad today, really missing Ashley. I miss him normally after spending the weekend with him anyway but I miss him more so today. I had such a lovely weekend in Stoke, we used the remaining Morrisons vouchers I had (£20 worth) we got so much fruit and veg. I literally have ate my body weight in fruit since Thursday ha ha. Hopefully that is a good thing! We also played with Lego as we built the DeLorean I got him for our anniversary, it's rather awesome. The drive home last night was a bit scary we saw loads of police and ambulances on the A500 because a car was turned over and had gone into a tree it looked so bad! The rain and wind was terrible but today is really sunny with some heavy winds. I'm back in Stoke at the weekend so hopefully the weather will have cheered up and we will have a nice weekend.

I hope you all have a great week and weigh in goes smoothly.

Late update!

Sorry for the late weigh-in update, I've been so busy. Well I lie I haven't been that busy but I've just not had the chance to pick my laptop up. I gained half a pound at weigh in on Monday, don't get me wrong I was gutted but half a pound isn't the end of the world plus I felt really bloated. It also means I'm now 1.5lb away from my 9.5st award. I'm hoping having doing a week of red days I'll be the proud owner of my next award on Monday, fingers crossed! I didn't go to the gym last Sunday either after having 2 hours sleep I really wasn't in the mood for it but we are going this Saturday instead.
I went to watch Guardians of the Galaxy on Tuesday with Ashley, it was so bloody good! I want my very own Rocket and Groot! I'm going to watch Inbetweeners 2 tomorrow (Friday) with Lydia, it's going to be nice to interact with another girl for once as I think it's about time I made some friends.

I'm not going to Ashley's until midnight Friday because he's going to a gig so I have the full day to enjoy myself :D I went to Morrisons today with those £5 vouchers they put in the paper, my mum and little brother had one too so we got £15's worth of fruit for next to nothing! I also got 4 more papers to use at Ashley's over the weekend ha ha.

I had my last session at 42nd street today, it was quite sad because my support worker is amazing she's helped me so much. It was just filling in forms and talking, it's amazing to see how far I've come. I went there in May 2012 with no hope of ever getting out of the dark hole I was in but I now feel I've come out of it all a stronger person and I'm ready to take on anything life throws at me. I'm so proud of myself, I've learnt that I'm not a horrible person, my feelings do matter and when people say horrible things to me they are not true and I shouldn't start believing that they are. I did that for far too long and that was the reason I had no confidence.

I hope you all have had a great week and all your weigh in's are kind. Have a great weekend!

I finally have some sort of confidence, wow.

 

So lately I seem to have found some confidence, it's strange because it's something I've never had before. I was unaware of this confidence until I tried a dress on in George (Asda) and decided I will wear it without tights and I did just that! I also purchased a pair of shorts, but not so confident to wear them yet but I will eventually, I did wear them to weigh in on Monday night though. I think the fact I'm finally able to go out now and I'm at the point where I think 'why should I care about what other people think about me?' is just crazy. I was forever hiding, staying in doors away from 'the big bad world' because I was so scared of all the negativity going on in my life. I remember when I had lost 3st on Slimming World, fair enough I was still really big but when I had people still shouting horrible comments from their car windows it really knocked me back and the confidence I was gaining from doing so well took a back seat. Today I went food shopping with my mum and we called into the newsagents to put the lottery on first and the man that owns the shop is lovely he always smiles at me and says hello but today he actually said to me "You've lost a lot of weight and you have such a beautiful face and figure now" not only did I go bright red but I felt so good about myself because somebody had been paying attention to me that didn't even know me but he had seen how much I have lost and when I told him that I have lost nearly 9 and a half stone he said "That's amazing". It's little things like that, that make me much happier going out now because it shows that people aren't always going to throw negative comments at me anymore and I'm learning that it is okay to accept compliments no matter how much I doubt myself. I still go red when Ashley says something nice to me, I'm not very good at accepting compliments because they are new to me. People on Instagram are wonderful confidence boosters, I don't mean that to sound pig headed (I apologise if it does) but when people leave me such lovely comments on my pictures it makes me feel good about myself because it's positive stuff and not negative stuff. I'm finally getting somewhere now, this wasn't just a journey to change the way I looked but it was also a journey to help with my mental state. I think I'm doing rather well with that too.

My anxiety has been terrible for as long as I can remember and on Tuesday evening it got tested quite a lot. Myself and Ashley went to watch the new planet of the apes film and a group of young boys sat behind us, they made me angry all the way through the film which probably contributed to me not enjoying the film. They were making noises, throwing popcorn and the most irritating thing of them all kicking my chair. I could feel my chest getting tight and I knew I was going to have a panic attack but I sat and slowed my breathing I thought about getting up and walking out so many times but I didn't. That was the first time I have ever been able to control my panic attacks, I was still very shaky when we left the cinema and then I explained it to Ashley who of course kept apologising like a sausage but it wasn't his fault we were sat in front of silly immature boys. I have so much to thank Ashley for, if it wasn't for him my mental state would still be so bad. I've managed to do so much and be so happy because of him. I don't know where I'd be without him now but I know I never want to find that out.

I lost 1lb at weigh in on Monday which of course was going to happen because I was 2lb away from my next award. It always happens when I'm so close, so hopefully I'll have that next Monday. We have exactly 4 weeks until Leeds Fest now and I want to be in my 13's by then as I know that I'm not going to be able to make the best choices when I'm there but I want to be able to enjoy myself and then get back on track after it. I'm not going to be so strict on myself because this is the first festival I've ever been to and I want to enjoy myself without worrying about what I'm eating and drinking.

This week I'm going to do 2 days extra easy and 4 days red just to mix it up a little, plus I'm going to the gym Sunday night with Ashley. Hopefully Monday will be the bearer of good news!

I hope you all have a fantastic week and have amazing losses!

Will I finally get my next award?

So it's almost Monday and I'm only 2lb away from next award. I've done another week on the Original plan (Red days), I'm hoping that it's helped me get that 2lb so I can finally have my next award as I really want to be closer to the next stone bracket too. I so badly want to see the 13's, the amount of sweating I've done this week because of the sunshine should help also! I have done a lot of sun worshiping this week, the weather has been incredible. I've burnt quite a lot! Hoping I will have some form of tan in the next few days .. who am I kidding I never tan. The rain has currently made an appearance to cool the place down but I'm hoping Mr Sunshine will make an appearance again tomorrow. Ashley will be here tomorrow too once he's finished work which I'm really looking forward to. Nothing beats lots of cuddles, I've missed a hell of a lot. On Monday after weigh in we are going to the cinema to watch the new planet of the apes film, we was planning on seeing guardians of the galaxy but I then realised it's actually not out until Thursday, oops. So that's a next week job! On Tuesday we are taking a Slimming World picnic to Southport Beach, really looking forward to that too! Hopefully we will have good weather.

The puppies are now 3 weeks old and are trying to walk, this is where the fun begins!

I hope you all have had a great week and are enjoying the beautiful weather.

I now officially swear by the original plan.

Red days clearly work, I think being on the Extra Easy plan since the start had become comfort for my body so it didn't care how much rice, potatoes, pasta etc I was consuming. This meant I'd eat as much as I wanted because it was free food and I'd end up eating that much that I'd be bloated and possibly gain weight. I've missed having them sometimes but it hasn't bothered me to the point where I've caved. Red days are having a positive out come for me, I no longer feel bloated and crappy! Best of all I've not been gaining either. I've trialed two weeks on the original plan and I've had good losses both weeks. At weigh in tonight I lost 2.5lb which makes me now 14st 6lb, I'm 2lb away from my 9.5 stone award! I'm so excited. I'm doing another week of red days to help me get it next week! Keep your fingers firmly crossed for me.

I had an amazing weekend! Saturday me and Ashley went to our first ever Comic Con! We waited for 2 hours in the pouring down rain to get inside and we were soaked from head to toe but it was all worth it once inside! I've never seen anything like it, so many awesome costumes/stalls! The atmosphere was incredible. Next time I'm dressing up! I will go as an Adventure Time character. I purchased quite a few Adventure Time bits including 5 prints for my wall. On Sunday we decided to take a unplanned trip to the cinema to watch 'How to train your dragon 2' it was amazing! I loved it just as much as I loved the first one. I was so happy that it wasn't a flop as the first one was so awesome. I felt like a child all the way through I was letting out 'WOW' 'WOAHHH' 'AWWWWW' 'NOO' and at one point I even cried :'( I won't put any spoilers in but yes I cried at an animated film, it's not the first time and it won't be the last!

Counseling on Thursday then I only have one more appointment after that then I'm done with it forever (hopefully). Then my new life starts in September. I'm feeling all kinds of emotions about it! Happy, scared, nervous, excited but I'm going to make sure I enjoy my experience at college this time. I don't want to be put into the situation I was in last time. Being picked on at school then having to go through it again at college. I want this time to have a positive effect on me and not a negative.

I hope you all have a fab week and the scales are kind!  

Fail to plan, plan to fail!

So it's Tuesday morning and I've already done the tea menu for the week and the shopping list. I'm doing red days again because they were a success at weigh in last night I lost 2lb. I was over the moon because I'm now back on track, the 1.5lb I had left of my gain to lose has gone plus an extra half a pound. I now weigh 14st 8.5lb which is the lowest I've ever been, I'm 4.5lb away from my 9 and a half stone award. So hopefully I'll have lost a bit of the 4.5lb maybe 3lb on Monday. I'm hoping mother nature appears this week to help me out a bit.

This weeks menu consists of -

Wednesday - Grilled gammon steaks with tomatoes and herb mash. (The mash is made from swede). This meal can be found in the 50 free original day recipe book on page 106.
Thursday - Beefed up burgers on HEB roll and salad, everybody else will be having Slimming World chips. This meal can be found in the 50 free original day recipe book on page 98.
Friday - Salmon fillets, pak-choi, spring onions, chilli and garlic (this is just for me and Ashley because he gets to mine late on a Friday, everybody else is having jerk chicken and Caribbean rice).
Saturday - Thai style aromatic chicken stir-fry. It only takes 30 minutes to cook and can be found again in the 50 free original day recipe book on page 52.
Sunday - Chicken roast, minus the potatoes for me.
Will be using syns on gravy and a Yorkshire pudding though.
Monday - Mexican Burritos using chicken (this will be a treat as its after weigh in)
Cheese on top will be healthy extra though so not so bad its just the wraps that are syns.
Tuesday - Sweet and sour chicken and pak-choi. 30 minutes marinating time but still a low cooking time. This meal can be found in the 50 free original day recipe book on page 57.

I'm looking forward to making all of this. Simple but yummy!
I'm off to the Chinese supermarket this afternoon to pick up some goodies, I love it there!

Hope you all have a great week and have great results, we've got this! :)

weigh day, feeling horrid and changes.

So today is the day I dread every week, weigh day! But today I'm actually excited to see how red days have had an effect on my weight loss, whether there is any loss at all, fingers crossed! I weigh in at 7pm so it is a long ass wait. So far today I've had 40g of Crunchy bran, 2 yogurts and raspberries for my breakfast and for dinner/lunch I'm having salmon and some salad. I'm hoping cutting rice, potatoes and pasta out has helped me because I don't feel bloated at all even though star week still hasn't happened. I'm starting to think mother nature hates me this month, she will arrive soon.

Looking in the mirror lately I've not been very happy, to me I feel and look as if I've put weight on and not lost it. I feel ugly and really self conscious and I really don't know why. My hair is bugging me too, I completely ballsed up the dip dye its in a straight line so going over it during the week with a new dye but keeping the dip dye just making it look a lot better and maybe lightening it. It's hard when you don't know a hairdresser or live near a good salon! So I can't see the back when I'm doing it, 2 years of doing hair at college and I still haven't mastered the back ha ha. But I shall sort it so I'm happy with it.

On Saturday night, instead of sitting it watching crap on TV or going to the cinema myself and Ashley decided to head to the gym. I've not been in years and when I did go I was 24st and didn't do much I'd just give up. So going with Ashley was really good, it was something we hadn't done together yet either. I was a bit worried I'd look stupid at first but we went at half 8 and the gym was dead so I felt a little better. Ashley was running for gold on the treadmill and I really wanted to do the same so I decided to give it a go, baring in mind I can't run to save my life. I did it though and I was so proud it was only for a minute each time but it was still something! I was on the treadmill for 65minutes and I didn't stop once. I walked for just over 6km (3miles), it said I'd burnt 355 calories but I think it could have possibly have been more. Either way I'm really proud of myself and Ashley was proud of me too. I'm hoping we go again soon.

Saturday morning we went raspberry picking whilst I was at Ashley's it was so much fun! We collected a hell of a lot and they were so tasty. I really can't wait for next weekend, we are going to Manchester Comic Con and after seeing the pictures from the London Film and Comic Con we are planning to go there next year.

I'm enrolling on my Maths course this week, I didn't make it on to the actual GCSE course because my Maths was so bad. But I am on the Pre-GCSE Maths entry 3 course .. I don't actually know what that is. I shall find out on Thursday. I enroll on my Early Years Education course in 2 weeks time I'm excited to start.

Good luck to all you Monday weighers and good luck to everybody for the week a head. Hope the scales are kind.

One pound and red days

So on Monday night at weigh I only lost 1lb, mother nature hasn't arrived yet and no I'm not pregnant ha ha! I just have irregular periods they show up when I least expect it and it's not my favourite of surprises I can assure you. Yes I'm moaning about losing a pound, I wouldn't normally but since I have gained 2.5lb in the past couple of weeks I was really disappointed because I was 110% on plan. So that means I have 1.5lb of my gain to lose, as a result in that this week I'm attempting to do red days (the original plan). This means no potatoes, rice, baked beans, peas, pasta etc etc, today is my first day following the original plan as I've been an extra easy girl since I started ;) I can't believe how full I am even though I'm not eating potatoes, rice or pasta. It's amazing, I've been eating lots of fish and vegetables today. Not gonna lie the fact I get two healthy extra B choices makes me all excited! I'm not too fussed about the healthy extra A choices, I only tend to have a bit of milk anyway. I may chance it and have some cheese at one point but I don't want to gain :( today I've had..

Breakfast - 40g of Weetabix Crunchy Bran (B), a bit of Milk (A) and a banana.
Because I had breakfast quite early I then decided to have 2 boiled eggs around 10am.
Dinner or Lunch for you posh people - Salmon fillet, green and orange peppers, a few jumbo king prawns and 1 tbsp of sweet chilli sauce (1.5syns).
Tea - Panga fillet (more fish), butternut squash roasted, swede, carrots and 1 tbsp of sweet chilli sauce (1.5syns).
Pudding/Dessert - 1 Shape 0% Raspberry yogurt and an Asda Chosen By You Vitality Banoffee bar (B).

I still have syns I can use so I may have a cup of tea later and a packet of mini oreos (6syns) this will take me to 9syns but I'm happy with that. Fingers crossed these red days will give me a great surprise on the scales on Monday and stop me from feeling so bloated.

On Monday night after weigh in me and Ashley went to TGI Fridays it was lovely, I had a few cocktails and was slightly drunk ha ha. Tuesday morning I woke Ashley up at 10 past 8 just so I could give him his card and present, don't think he was impressed but that changed as soon as he seen that I got him a Lego DeLorean. He's under strict instructions that he isn't allowed to build it until Friday when I'm there so I can help. Ashley spoilt me rotten, he got me a beautiful heart pandora charm with Happy Anniversary on it. He also spoilt me in Mac at the Trafford Centre, and I have a present at his house! I felt a bit rotten just getting him Lego after that :( ha ha. We've been together a whole year now and I couldn't be anymore happier, we spent the day at the Trafford Centre and went and played mini golf which was so much fun and I beat Ashley! I won't let him forget that ha ha.

I hope you are all having a good week and the scales are kind to you.
Lots of love x

Puppies and weigh in nerves

So on Thursday night Luna my long haired Chihuahua went into labor, she gave birth to 3 beautiful puppies, 2 girls and 1 boy. I was extremely proud of her because normally during birth she is useless and won't do anything for herself but this time she actually helped. My mum delivered them and cut the cords and all 3 of them are beautiful and healthy. So exciting to think that they will be running around in a few weeks time and I can't wait! Luna has never had more than a litter of 2 so this was lovely to see that she had 3. Her being pregnant wasn't meant to happen again this year because she had already had a litter in January but being stuck once got her pregnant anyway but the main thing is she and puppies are all healthy and happy, so that's all that matters.

After gaining for the last 2 weeks at Slimming World I've been quite upset but I still stuck to plan 100% this week so I'm hoping I'll have the 2.5lb gain off and more. I've worked so hard I just hope it isn't another gain or I'll be deeply upset. I am really nervous this week because I genuinely don't know what to expect. After weigh in me and Ashley are heading out to TGI Friday's for tea because on Tuesday we've been together a year so going out on the Monday instead. I can't believe it's been a whole year and he's not managed to kill me yet, he's a complete gem for putting up with me!

I hope you all have a great week on plan and the scales are kind to you on your weigh days.

HAPPY 2 YEAR ANNIVERSARY TO ME!

So today is my Slimming World 2 year anniversary, on the 2nd of July 2012 I walked through those doors of the Harpurhey Slimming World group run by Joanne and I've never looked back. To celebrate my 2 year anniversary I decided I would brave it and do a question and answer video, I've never filmed a video in my life and it must have taken me 5 attempts before I was happy with it. Excuse the state of my hair but here it is... ENJOY....

Wide awake.

So I'm sat here at 1:26am wide awake, today (well yesterday since it's past midnight) was terrible. I have not felt the amount of stress I felt for such a long time. All the planning of getting my life on track with college etc has had me feeling crap. Then to top it all off I went to weigh in and gain 2lb on top of the half a pound I gained last week, star week is looming which is always a disaster at weigh in so I'm hoping I get a nice surprise next Monday instead.

I sometimes forget how far I've actually come because I worry so much that I will go back to being the unhappy, very over weight girl I used to be. I can't go back there, my life was hell. I don't know why I've got myself so stressed, it's not because of the gain I just seem to have a lot on my mind at the moment. I even considered going back to my old ways earlier and I scared myself I haven't thought about harming myself in nearly a year, so why now? I didn't though, I refuse to go back there. Hopefully after a nice restful sleep I will feel a lot better, once I get tired that is.

Wouldn't it be great if we all lived a world full of happiness, rainbows and magic. Depression wouldn't exist in that sort of world. I'd also own my own unicorn!

Those scales won't know whats hit them next week, I'm going to do my kettle bell every day, no excuses! Plenty of super free and no fizzy drinks, going to limit syns too and not use them on chocolate. I want to have lost 10st before I go to Leeds festival in August. Hopefully that is doable, well I think it is. I've done 4 comparison pictures tonight for myself with old pictures I found on the computer downstairs whilst I was putting them all on a memory stick for my dad. I was so shocked because I still felt like those pictures were still actually me but when I compared them, just goes to show I'm not.

Hope you all have a great week!

Damage limitation.

Sorry I've only just got around to posting Monday nights weigh in results, if you follow me on Instagram you will already know that I gained half a pound. I'm actually made up with that because if I hadn't got straight back on plan the day after my birthday and had the syn free days with lots of super free it may have been a lot worse. I stood on Ashley's scales on Friday when I got to his and it said I had gained 5.5lb so technically I lost 5lb ;) I'm not upset about half a pound and I'm not going to lose any sleep over it (makes a change because I normally cry) but I enjoyed my birthday which I never did last year. I did as much I humanly could to reduce the damage and I did, plus it will be off next week and more so not to worry! Plus I didn't lose my 9 stone award which I was more worried about so happy days!

In 2 weeks time I've been with Ashley for 1 whole year, it's gone so fast. I can't believe I've managed to keep hold of him. He's changed my life so much, I couldn't have carried on my weight loss journey if he hadn't have been so supportive of it. He tries to help me as much as he can and he does a bloody good job at it. I know I blabber on in nearly every post about him and you probably all get sick of it but I couldn't speak about him enough. He's made all the horrible things that have happened to me seem so small and distant now. I'm now being treated how I've only ever dreamed of being treated and it's pretty damn amazing.

Tomorrow I have an appointment with my Councillor I only have 4 sessions left with her before I'm done forever and off to college to start a new chapter in my life. It's helped me a lot having somebody to listen to my problems and help me try to over come them. I know nobody can ever make my problems go away, it's only me that can put them behind me and know that they only made me stronger. I have felt weak for so long but I'm starting to realise I'm actually not, to put up with what I have done and still be here shows how strong I am. I'd never normally admit that or pay myself a complement but yeah, you heard it here first.

I hope you are all having a great week and weigh ins are going great! And if they didn't jump on my wagon next week is ours. We got this!

NINE.

Sorry I've not posted for so long, I've had a busy week. I fully enjoyed a synful birthday on Wednesday and got straight back on plan Thursday morning lots of super free and I've had syn free days since. On Monday I finally did it, I finally got my 9 stone award! I needed half a pound and I lost two and a half instead which takes me to a loss of 9st 2lb such a great present to start my birthday week. I have 5lb to lose for my next award which is quite exciting! I've probably gained since but I'm trying my hardest to reduce damage for Monday night, I'm hoping for a maintain if not a cheeky little loss!

I had such an amazing birthday, Ashley made the day the best! He spoiled me rotten, I even got a bouquet of roses. We had a fun cocktail fueled day, the weather was amazing and so was the company. I had pizza hut for tea! I've missed real pizza and it tasted so damn good, I had my favourite, Hawaiian mmm ham and pineapple! I was hammered and in bed by 11pm, proves I had a great day haha. I'm currently in Stoke at Ashley's house, we've had 2 syn free BBQ's this weekend because the weather has been beautiful.

I went clothes shopping on Thursday and ended up buying a really pretty skirt and top! I never wear skirts my legs look like I'm the milkman's love child. But the skirt was a size 14, non scale victory!

Hope you've all had an amazing week, sorry the post isn't long but I will post again on Monday after weigh in.

half a pound, lilies and smiles.

Sorry for the long awaited post (you probably wasn't waiting but lets pretend you were). After maintaining last week at Slimming World this week I lost 1.5lb so I'm now half a pound away from my 9st award! How frustrating! I'm determined to get it next Monday so I can enjoy my birthday next Wednesday, I'm not having a treat after weigh in next Monday either. Wednesday will be my treat day because I don't want to be worrying about Slimming World and then not enjoying my birthday. I'm going to Pizza Hut with my family and my beautiful other half. I'm just hoping I get my award next Monday because it will be a perfect way to start my week and it will be a lovely birthday present too.

Today I had a surprise delivery of a beautiful bouquet of flowers, on Monday while I was at my interview at college (which wasn't an interview just a written maths test) he dropped me off and disappeared for 20 minutes. They were meant for my birthday but the florist mucked up and sent them today. They are absolutely beautiful, he did brilliant! It even contains my favourite flowers lilies! I can't wait for them to open. I'm such a lucky girl, I never get flowers so it was a lovely surprise. I went to Boux Avenue for the first time this week to be measured because for as long as I can remember I'd been guessing what size bra I was so I've been wearing a 38 C, I got measured and I am in fact a 38 F bit of a jump haha, my bra's don't feel like training bra's anymore they actually fit now! The help in the shop was incredible, the lady was absolutely lovely and I didn't feel uncomfortable at any point. I signed up for a VIP card so it's safe to say that's where I'll be getting my bra's from in future.

I'm in Stoke on Friday until Monday back for Weigh in Monday evening, hoping the sun stays out for the weekend and for the rest of the week. I get Ashley for 10 days as of Friday which makes me super happy. I may be quite behind with the next weeks post because I want to spend all my time with Ashley.

I hope you all have had an amazing week and the scales are super kind to you all!
X

When life gives you lemons, HMMNYAAAGH!

Well today/yesterday, I went to weigh in after losing 4lb last week and I maintained. I'm super happy about this. Why? I hear you say, well because an hour before weigh in Aunt Flo' came to town. This is why I have felt so horrid and when I had a cheeky look on Ashley's scales at the weekend, YES I KNOW I WAS BANNED FROM DOING THIS! But I wanted to see how I was getting on and of course his scales said I had gained 4.5lb so yeah I'm really pleased with a maintain. It means I'm still in my 14's and I will get my 9stone award next Monday instead just before my birthday the week after. I stayed to group for the first time since last year and it was nice to be back, I'm going to make it a regular thing in a few weeks time. The support has giving me the big boost I need for this week! I'm grateful I didn't gain, so I didn't get upset about it.

The beautiful weather at the weekend gave me and Ashley lots of opportunity to go do some fun stuff! On the Saturday we went strawberry picking, I've never had so much fun! Eating strawberries (even though there was a sign saying no to do that, which I didn't see), we picking loads of huge ones and Ashley ended up paying £17 for 2 big baskets of strawberries that were basically small apples haha. Safe to say we ate a lot of strawberries over the weekend! On Sunday we went to the Roaches which was absolutely beautiful we climbed a lot and took a lot of pictures. The view from the top of the rocks was so beautiful. Safe to say when we got back to the car we were both knackered and sweating! I'm not seeing Ashley now until Sunday which makes me sad but I get him for a lot longer the following week. I also changed my hair last week, I used an ombre kit and it looks really nice!

Life is great right now.

H.A.P.P.I.N.E.S.S

I am so happy this week, I don't think anything can change that. Monday's weigh in was such a success after gaining the week before I lost 4lb this week. I was over the moon, not just because I'd lost 4lb but because I now weigh 14st 13lb. I can't remember the last time I weighed that. After weigh in me and Ashley went to an all you can eat Chinese I felt quite poorly afterwards and I only had 2 and a half plates. My tummy clearly doesn't agree with oil anymore. I polished off a bottle of rose wine and I didn't feel guilty! I'm back on track now have been since Tuesday, although I didn't eat much Tuesday because of how poorly I felt. I am 2lb away from my 9 stone award and I'm going to do exactly what I did last week 5 syns and under and I'm not going to be hard on myself and I will be more relaxed. I'm at Ashley's this weekend and I always stay focused when I'm at his house anyway, I find it easier when I'm there as apposed to being at home. I've had a lovely couple of days too, Monday morning we were up early and went for a walk around town. Tuesday we went to the Trafford Centre, Ashley got me a beautiful Cath Kidston bag for college! I'm so in love with it. We had dinner (or lunch for you posh people) in the food court. I had my usual Spud U Like, it was the first thing I'd eaten all day due to my off tummy. After food we went to the Odeon cinema they have inside the Trafford Centre and we watched X-MEN Days of Future Past, it was incredible! One of the best Marvel films I've seen in a while. I feel a bit lost now that Ashley isn't here but I've only got Thursday to get out of the way then I'm back with him.

I went and sorted my first adult passport out today too as I need it for the DBS check (CRB) for college. I did have a child passport but that went out of date ages ago. It's also good that I'm getting it now too as me and Ashley are planning on going to Florida sometime next year, hopefully! Which will be amazing as I have never been to America and I really want to go to Harry Potter world!

Hope you've all had a great bank holiday weekend and all your weigh in results are what you wanted.

Exciting news!

So today well technically since its now after midnight, yesterday.. I had my interview at the college to do the Children and Young Peoples Workforce Level 2 course which has now had its named changed to Early Years Education Level 2 (which I prefer). I power walked all the way there at 20 past 3 thinking I was going to be late, not only did I work up a sweat but I got there in 20 minutes. My appointment wasn't until 4pm. I've never walked so fast in all my life, I can feel it in my legs now. But anyway, we went up to the room where the interview/talk was taking place and we were given a piece of paper and a pen to write a personal statement about ourselves and why we wanted to do the course. I was honest and explained that I was ready for the course now, as I'm gaining more confidence and I'm hoping the course will add to that. I also explained why I didn't have the confidence to follow my dreams before hand. After doing the personal statement we were sent upstairs to the computer room to do the dreaded English and Maths tests on the computer to see what level we are working at, to help them see which course we should be on. Oh and by the way when I say 'we' I mean the other ladies and one gentleman that was there too. I got through the English test no problem and came out as a level 2 which is awesome as I got a C in my GCSE. The Maths was a lot more difficult, I struggle with Maths. It isn't my strongest point, I got Entry Level 3 which is terrible and I got an F in my GCSE. Along with this course I have to take an extra course of GCSE Maths so I can progress on to level 3 of Early Years Education once I've finished level 2. This will be an evening class, I'm just hoping I do better second time around. After I had finished the tests I took my results back down to the room everybody was in and gave them to the woman that would be tutor if I got on the course. She was pleased with my English result and asked me why I wanted to do the course and I explained, I had to hold back a few tears as I could feel myself getting upset as I mentioned that being bullied at school and college in the past had knocked my confidence a lot but I'm ready now to do this. With that she wrote my name on her list and gave me a place. I'm so happy, college will be 1 day a week but I have to find 2 placements in 2 different nurseries which I will be at once a week. So technically I'll be doing 3 days a week at college but 2 of them will be on placement. It will be 3 and a half once I've put in my application for Maths which I'm going to do this week. I'm so proud of myself for not bottling it last minute. My future is starting to look very bright!

Climbing back on the horse even when it throws you off.

I've been thinking all day about how I was going to do this post, I know I didn't do a before weigh in post but this one will include everything that's happened over the past 4 days. I'll start with weigh in first though. Last night was weigh in and I felt positive after lots of walking over the weekend in the lovely sunshine. I stepped on the scales thinking I'd be so happy and I'd be in the next stone bracket and possibly have my 9 stone award, but I didn't. Instead I had gained what I had lost the week before 2.5lb, I tried to keep myself together but I was so angry so I cried. I left group without speaking to my consultant because she was busy giving new member talks and I didn't want to stay but I had left my new comparison picture with her. I got home, still crying and ate a tub of ice-cream. I got it all out of my system but I still felt like giving up because it just didn't feel like it was working for me anymore. The messages on Instagram were flooding in and I read them and cried more because even though I had a slight blip everybody's support means the absolute world to me. These are people I've never met in my life but they still made me feel that bit better. I also received a message on my slimming world groups, group on Facebook off a lovely lady I met when I first started my journey. My consultant had shown my comparison picture to the group, all the comments I got on the group were so lovely. I couldn't be sad anymore, it only made me more determined. These people are calling me an inspiration, what good would I be if I just gave up every time my body doesn't want to play ball? So today was a new day, I'm going back to the 5 syns and under rule for the week because it worked for me last time. I'm also drinking water instead of Pepsi Max to stop me from feeling so bloated. To cheer myself up I got myself a hooded top from Asda so I had something thin to wear whilst it's so warm, I tried a 16 on first and it fit perfectly. The happiness I got from trying an item of clothing on made the gain last night seem so small. From being a size 28 and worrying about things fitting to now trying on size 16/14 and them fitting makes me so happy.

Also a lady commented on my post last night on Instagram and said to list things I've achieved that have nothing to do with the scales, so I'm going to do that on here.

1. Clothes sizes - I no longer have to go straight to the plus size department in a store because I fit into the clothes that are in department with a bigger range of clothes instead of having to only wear stuff in the plus size range because that's all that fits. I've gone from a size 26/28 to 14/16.
2. Ashley - having a boyfriend who supports my journey is amazing, he's my biggest pick me up. I've come out of my shell a lot since meeting him. He puts up with me being a big grumpy bum far more than he should, but I'm glad he's stayed because I wouldn't be where I am now if didn't come along.
3. Going out - Since losing weight and meeting Ashley, I've started to leave the house a lot more. My anxiety is still really bad, I'm anxious and think people are looking at me and laughing all the time. But it's no where near as bad as it use to be. I'm still on medication for my anxiety and I'm still a paranoid polly but I'm trying my hardest to beat it.
4. Applying for college - I'd never in a million years thought I'd be going back to college again, especially after what had happened the last time. I have an interview this Thursday and I'm terrified but I'm also excited, it's what I want to do. I'm still worried I won't make friends and nobody will like me but this is a chance I've got to take.
5. Busy places - This is also connected to going out but it's kind of different. I have a phobia because of my anxiety of being in busy places (town, beaches, shopping centers etc). But I'm doing the scariest but most exciting thing in the world in August, I'm going to Leeds Fest with Ashley and his friends. I can't wait!

I'm determined for a big loss next week but I'm not going to put myself in a panic over it and I'm going to take it easy on myself. What will be, will be.

This weekend has been one of the best weekends I've had a long time, I went to Southport Beach with Ashley for the first time on Saturday, it was busy and the sun was shining. We had a slimming world picnic on the beach and even had a walk into the sea. On Sunday we went to Etherow Country Park and walked over 4 miles around the whole park, climbing over fences and up mucky paths. A lot of body magic and I was burnt but I've never had so much fun and I felt free. We had lunch on a bench over looking a beautiful view of hills, cows and trees. I didn't want the weekend to end. I won't be seeing Ashley until Sunday now, but that means I see him Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and then only have to wait Wednesday, Thursday until I see him again on Friday! Every cloud ay...

I hope you all have a lovely week and make the most of this beautiful weather and I hope all your weigh in's go well and you get the losses you deserve.

9

So last night was weigh in, I felt positive and I deserved to feel that way! I had a good week and stuck to plan. I was happy to see that I had lost 2.5lb taking me to a total loss of 8st 10.5lb, which means I am now 3.5lb away from receiving my 9 stone shiny sticker! I'm going to do extra body magic this week to ensure I get it next week. I'm now currently 15st half a pound, when I stood on the scales I saw the 14st bracket flicker and I got so excited! I want to see them properly next week, I'll be over the moon. So I'm looking forward to another good week of great food choices and lots of body magic. I ordered a 5kg kettle bell on Sunday off Amazon so I could tone my bingo wings, that should be here Friday so I shall start that next week. I really hope it works because looking at them does make me really sad and they make me feel disgusting. It's the same with my tummy and thighs but I'm still aware I have a lot more to lose so maybe they will shrink away. Fingers crossed!

I'm making Chicken Chow Mein from the Fake Away Book tonight, it's half a syn per portion and is absolutely gorgeous. So gorgeous in fact that me and Ashley made it twice last week, even his dad enjoyed it! I have lots of meal planning to do for the week a head and a shopping list to write for tomorrow. I love Wednesdays and I love food.

Hope you all have a good week and good luck with your weigh in's. I shall keep everything crossed for you all.

Everything is awesome!

Life right now seems to only being going the right way, which is up! I received another letter from college inviting me to an interview/enrolling day on the 22nd of May. I'm excited but rather scared too, it's all real now! I can do this, it's bettering my life and I'm not letting my dreams take a back seat just because my mental health wants to hold me back all the time. So hopefully all being well I shall be a Student again come September. This time I'm not giving up, I'm going to carry on until I've finished the course and got the job I can only dream of. It makes me happy to think this time last year my life was in a rut, I didn't think I'd ever make progress. Little did I know that I'd decide to make the biggest decision of my life a year on. I'm glad I have now, it will give me plenty to look forward to.

I've had a lovely weekend in Stoke, the rain bounced down majority of the weekend mind. We said goodbye to Ashley's old car Nigel, he's finally been sold. In 10 months we had lots of lovely memories in that car, Chester Zoo and he even though he was old he still got us to London and back in January! So it was sad. I've read near 2 books in a few days both by John Green, who at the moment is one of my favourite authors. I've read The Fault in Our Stars and I'm almost finished reading Looking for Alaska. So on Sunday I purchased Paper Towns and An Abundance of Katherines. I'm looking forward to reading both, it was buy 1 get the other for £1 in WHSMITH so it would be rude not to!

It's Monday which means it's weigh day! I'm feeling positive but trying not to think so much about it, I know I've stuck to plan and had a great week. Lets hope the scales thinks so too. I shall upload my results on Instagram later tonight and I shall do a post tomorrow at some point. It's Game of Thrones date night tonight! Yippeeeee. Although me and Ashley will both be in separate houses, we will face time afterwards! :D

If you are getting weighed today too, good luck! If you don't get what you want, today is the start of a new week.

Dog number 5, posh restaurants and smaller sizes.

Sorry it's taken me over a week to do my latest post, it's been a busy week/weekend. Saturday morning I went dress hunting for a pretty little number for mine and Ashley's date to the Vermilion and Cinnabar, Monday night after weigh in. Well when I say dress hunting I had already found the dress I wanted on the Dorothy Perkins website but I wanted to go and try it on first. So I went with my mum and brother to town Saturday morning and I grabbed an 18 and 16 just to be safe and tried the 16 on first, to my surprise it was a little roomy but fit lovely. I sent my mum for a 14 just to see if it looked much better but they didn't have it in a 14 just a 12 and there was no way I was squeezing into that just yet. So I settled for the 16 but was rather happy that I could have got my butt into a 14! The only problem was I hated how horrid my arms looked, I could set flight with the bingo wings I've got lumbered away. But to sort that I got a little short cardigan type thing from Primark to cover them.

On Sunday we received a visit from Mika, my auntie that passed away, Chihuahua. My dad said if our other Chihuahua's were fine with her being there then she can live with us permanently. They were fine with her and we now have a 5th Chihuahua to the gang, she's very quiet at the moment and has only just started eating. The poor thing has been through a lot, but she's like my shadow, she follows me everywhere. Me and Ashley took her for a walk to Hollingworth Lake with Rufus on Tuesday just to see how she would be and she enjoyed it and was an angel to walk. It's nice to have a part of my aunt with us now, as she was the apple of my auntie Sonya's eye.

Monday's weigh in was a success, after gaining 2lb last week and being mortified and crying. I lost 3lb taking me to 8st 8lb loss. I'm so happy and now 6lb away from my 9 stone award. I will get it, I will! I've been making great food choices this week even after my treat meal with Ashley at the Vermilion, which was incredible we was still stuff the next morning! It was all fancy chicken and other meats, egg fried rice and cheese + garlic naan bread. The cocktails were gorgeous too! And non-alcoholic. It was a lovely evening, the place was so fancy! I've never been to a fancy restaurant before and it was nice to go to my first one with Ashley. I'm off to Stoke on Friday afternoon for the weekend, I can't wait to see Ashley again and I've only been away from him for less than 24 hours. Looking forward to being away for a few days though, on plan as always as I go armed with Slimming World books and my food diary.

Hope you all have an amazing week/weekend and have had or have good losses!

Pardon my french..

But I'm really really P*SSED OFF! Not only was 100% with my meals last week and worked really hard for a good loss but I felt really positive walking to weigh in thinking I had done enough and I was so excited to stand on the scales. I regret being so positive, I gained 2lb. I stood and spoke to my consultant and I cried my eyes out, I was still sobbing when I walked home. I know I'm due on because my back is being a killer and my boobs feel like somebody has been using them as punch bags, so yeah Aunt Flo is due her rounds. I still didn't expect to gain because of how well I did the previous week with my food. I'm gonna carry on with what I did the week before because I know I hadn't ate anything wrong. This time I'm going to do it without having Mini Light Babybels as my HEA, cheese seems to let me down every time, I don't think it agrees with my body. I literally felt awful last night, I just had a big melt down but yet again Ashley gave me a huge pick me up. I really don't know what I'd do without his support. Next week the gain will be gone and some! I'm not letting this set back ruin my journey. Every journey has bumps in the road, but as my consultant said I need to think of all the other achievements I've gained. This time last year I'd have never dreamed of going outside, going to a roller disco, having a boyfriend, applying for college, fitting into a size 16! I need to stop letting the number on the scales define who I am, because it won't help it will just make me feel worse. I've ordered myself a couple of bath bombs and shower gel from Lush to make myself feel better. Here's to a new week, I've still got my positive head on and I will get what I deserve next week!

Weigh day!

Last week was one of the easiest 100% on plan weeks I've ever had. Now I don't know if that was down to the Salmon fillets or the tasty steam veg bags but it was an easy week. I'm feeling positive (I say that most weeks and end up with a fat gain) but I am nervous because I really want to work towards my 9 stone award because I did have a mini target of my 10 stone award for my birthday in June but 9.5 stone I will be happy with too. I've done quite a fair bit of body magic too, Me and Ashley were invited to a Roller Disco on Saturday night. OMG! I've never had so much fun in all my life. Okay so putting a pair of skates on and trying to skate in doors is a lot harder now than it was when I was 10 years old and using my skates so I could reach the tap on the kitchen sink and the cupboards. But once I got over the 'I can't move, I'm actually going to fall' phase, it was so much fun. We never fell once! But we did look like Bambi on ice for the first half an hour. We skated for 1hr 40mins without sitting down! Safe to say we were knackered when we got back and slept like a pair of babies. I can't wait to do it again, I was so nervous about going but everybody we spoke to were so lovely. The music was pretty awesome too! We got confident enough to join the track with everybody else too, we went around twice before I nearly fell and almost nearly knocked somebody else over too, oops. Ashley wants to take me ice skating next, he can keep wanting! I've tried it before and was so scared, I gave up after 10 minutes. So yeah, hopefully the body magic will contribute towards my great food choices. I won't find out until 7pm so still a long day a head of me. I decided not to get the Cath Kidston bag as my treat because I wanted to make sure I actually get into college first. But I did get myself a lovely Indian style top from New Look and some more pretty frilly socks. Ashley isn't here now until Sunday evening which sucks major ass :-( The weekend always goes so fast, but it means we can watch Game of Thrones together instead of having to watch it then talk about it on FaceTime. Yes we do that! We have GoT dates!

If you are weighing in today/tonight too, good luck! Hope you all have the results you deserve.

It's crazy how we finish each others.. SANDWICHES!

The title of this post has no relevance to the post it's self but that's okay. Everybody loves Frozen. Tonight (well since its 1 in the morning, last night) I lost 1lb at weigh in, after threating all weekend because Ashley's scales said I had gained. I'm banned from using them ever again and I have told Ashley he is to bash me over the head with them if I dare stand on them again. That 1lb was vital tonight as I now have just earned my Easter goal of 8 and a half stone. It's Easter Monday so it still counts. I was over the moon to see that 1lb gone when I stepped on the scales, I was ready to cry. I text Ashley straight away to tell him the great news and it was lovely to hear him say how proud of me he is. He's the reason I've carried on with my journey and he makes it easier for me to stick to the plan, he doesn't try and sabotage it. He's my biggest motivation, it's not the pretty Cath Kidston dress I want when I get to target it's the being the girlfriend Ashley deserves that makes me more determined. I know that may sound stupid to some people but we all have our reasons for carrying on. I'm hoping for another good loss next Monday, I'm doing some awesome body magic in the form of a Roller Disco next Saturday night so that should burn some calories! I'm super excited, I've not stopped mentioning it since last week! Not to sound catty but I've been feeling a little frustrated this past few weeks, there are people like myself that stick to the plan and don't get the results that they want but there are people that sabotage themselves and still get losses and I just can't help but think what is the point? It's started getting on my wick and I know it's not just me getting frustrated. But hey ho, what can you do?! As my treat for getting my 8 and a half stone award I'm getting myself a beautiful Cath Kidston backpack at the weekend!

I hope you all get the losses you deserve this week. Good luck!

I feel like I'm going backwards instead of forwards.

Sorry I didn't blog last weeks weigh in, I've been enjoying a lovely week with Ashley. On plan of course! Enjoying all the sunshine we've had, but I'm back home now :(

Last Monday I maintained at weigh in, I was really upset about it because I only needed to lose 1lb for my next award. So I didn't let it dampen my week I stayed on plan and carried on eating the correct things, no chocolate past my lips this weekend either! I've even drank a lot of water instead of fizzy pop. But I did the stupid thing of weighing myself on Ashley's scales this weekend to be told that I've gained weight. Obviously I'm devastated by this, his scales are wrong but never normally as wrong so even if they are I've possibly still gained. I don't understand why, I've done nothing to deserve a gain. I feel like I'm going backwards instead of forwards, I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm sticking to the plan and getting nothing back from it and it's making me feel like giving up. I know if I give up the 8 stone I have lost will have been for nothing so I don't want to chuck it all away. I'm scared that I'm nothing going to be able to lose anymore weight and I'll be stuck here forever. I'm still not comfortable in my own skin so I want to be at least 2 stone lighter for if I get into college in September which I've now applied for, I'm just waiting to hear back. I know everybody has their ups and downs on their weight loss journey but I appear to be having more downs lately. I'm hoping when I go to weigh in tonight it won't be the bad news I was expecting but some good news. Keep everything crossed for me. I have a new comparison picture, which I needed for motivation so I don't give up.

If you are being weighed today, good luck!