Merry Christmas.

Today is my last weigh in before Christmas, I am nervous because I've been good but I don't think I've lost anything. Infact I think I have gained which is quite deeply disappointing but I've got my Christmas wish which was to get my 10st award, I also had a cheeky 5.5lb off on top of that which makes me 1.5lb away from next award. I'm not going to bank on receiving that tonight but if I do I'll be extremely made up. I said I was only going to have 4 days off plan over Christmas but I've changed my mind I'm not going to go over board but if I fancy something I will have it. I'm still going to be having slimming world meals so that counts for something, right?

I'm so excited for Christmas day,I get to spend it with my family but my dad has to go to work at 7pm which isn't fair at all. This is going to be a strange Christmas for us this year, as we won't be spending it with my Auntie Sonya who sadly passed away at the beginning of this year.We have always had Christmas dinner with my Auntie and Uncle but sadly thats not going to be the case this year. My Uncle isn't going to be spending it with us either as he is in a care home with Dementia. So this year is going to be tough and there will probably be a few tears. Myself and Ashley are going to be facetiming when he gets home from work which will be torture not being able to open presents all day haha! But we did it last year so it's important to us that we do it again this year as I like seeing his reaction to the presents I've got him. I'm spending Boxing Day at Ashleys which is going to be so much fun because his mum has ordered so much food. I'm foaming at the mouth just thinking of it all. I love food and I'm not going to deny myself any, Christmas comes but once a year so it isn't going to make me gain the 10st that I've lost.

I've had such an incredible weekend, I went to watch the final Hobbit movie in 3D with Ashley. Omg if you haven't been to see it yet, you need to! It was amazing. I filled up, laughed and got a little bit excited sometimes haha. I'm so sad it's all over now. I'm off college and placement for 2 weeks which is great but I do miss the two lovely ladies on my course that I sit with. It's nice to be able to make friends after being so scared of doing so for the past 5 years.

I'm excited to see what 2015 brings me, I just hope it doesn't bring any pain after what 2014 has brought me. Losing my Auntie on top of a lot of other things has been very difficult but I want 2015 to be brighter and happier thats all I can wish and pray for. I send you all my love and I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and New Year and all your dreams come true. I probably won't be blogging until after the New Year now as I don't think I'll have the time. I shall try and make time!

So much temptation.

I seriously don't know how I'm surviving right now. So much chocolate and biscuits etc in the house and I'm sat here having just put two eggs in to boil so I don't eat anything bad. I have two weigh in's left until christmas and I want to do well on both so I can enjoy my christmas. It's so frustrating though I hate saying no to chocolate, I look forward to monday nights after weigh in so much so I can eat like a complete and utter pig and not feel guilty. It's soul destroying having tubs of quality streets knowing I can't touch them because once I have 1 I'll want the tub. I shall stick to my 1 syn advent calendar chocolate every morning. I just wish I could be one of those people that can say bugger it it's christmas but I'm too scared to gain weight, it's a nightmare. I will be enjoying christmas day etc though because I think I deserve it.

This blog post is preventing me from scoffing so I'm sorry if this makes you want to eat all the food in your house. Just do what I'm doing two boiled eggs! Your arse may stink all night but at least you won't gain weight! Monday is only 2 days away, I'm looking forward to going out for tea Monday night and eating/drinking what I want.

I hope you've all had a great week and weekend. Good luck for next weeks weigh in's.

Another one bites the dust.

So tonight was weigh in and I lost 1lb, I'm super happy about this because I've not had losses for 7 weeks on the bounce for ages! Shows the plan still is working for me, I'm putting the work in and I'm getting losses back. They may not be big losses but to me they are. I've just pigged out not going to lie, but I shall be back on plan first thing in the morning. I've just made a quick syn free stir-fry for my dinner tomorrow at placement. I'm really looking forward to the Christmas holidays, only 2 more weeks to go after this week. I need to start finishing my christmas shopping now, I've still got so much left to do. I'm not worrying about the Christmas period this year I'm going to enjoy my 4 days off plan (Christmas day, Boxing day, New years eve and New years day) if I gain, I gain. It will be nothing to how much I've lost already.

I know every post consists of my boyfriend but this weekend has been so lovely. I've never been able to give my full attention to somebody for so long. May that because I've been cheated on or I just lose interest really easily. This time it's so completely different, I can't lose interest. Every bit of our relationship is exciting. A trip to Morrisons for some dinner is fun because he isn't boring and he makes me laugh until it hurts. I don't think anybody could possibly understand the connection and bond we have. He makes me feel like a princess but he also keeps me on my toes, I've never in my life met somebody that could make me so happy and feel so in love as I do with Ashley. I'd do anything in the world for him and I know he'd do the same, he's always got my back when everything feels too much for me. He's my bestest friend in the whole wide world and I never want to be without him. I know this may sound soppy and I'm a lot soppier than him because he will only ever tell me how he feels but I wouldn't give him up for all the money in the world.

I hope your all your weeks go well and weigh in's too.