H.A.P.P.I.N.E.S.S

I am so happy this week, I don't think anything can change that. Monday's weigh in was such a success after gaining the week before I lost 4lb this week. I was over the moon, not just because I'd lost 4lb but because I now weigh 14st 13lb. I can't remember the last time I weighed that. After weigh in me and Ashley went to an all you can eat Chinese I felt quite poorly afterwards and I only had 2 and a half plates. My tummy clearly doesn't agree with oil anymore. I polished off a bottle of rose wine and I didn't feel guilty! I'm back on track now have been since Tuesday, although I didn't eat much Tuesday because of how poorly I felt. I am 2lb away from my 9 stone award and I'm going to do exactly what I did last week 5 syns and under and I'm not going to be hard on myself and I will be more relaxed. I'm at Ashley's this weekend and I always stay focused when I'm at his house anyway, I find it easier when I'm there as apposed to being at home. I've had a lovely couple of days too, Monday morning we were up early and went for a walk around town. Tuesday we went to the Trafford Centre, Ashley got me a beautiful Cath Kidston bag for college! I'm so in love with it. We had dinner (or lunch for you posh people) in the food court. I had my usual Spud U Like, it was the first thing I'd eaten all day due to my off tummy. After food we went to the Odeon cinema they have inside the Trafford Centre and we watched X-MEN Days of Future Past, it was incredible! One of the best Marvel films I've seen in a while. I feel a bit lost now that Ashley isn't here but I've only got Thursday to get out of the way then I'm back with him.

I went and sorted my first adult passport out today too as I need it for the DBS check (CRB) for college. I did have a child passport but that went out of date ages ago. It's also good that I'm getting it now too as me and Ashley are planning on going to Florida sometime next year, hopefully! Which will be amazing as I have never been to America and I really want to go to Harry Potter world!

Hope you've all had a great bank holiday weekend and all your weigh in results are what you wanted.

Exciting news!

So today well technically since its now after midnight, yesterday.. I had my interview at the college to do the Children and Young Peoples Workforce Level 2 course which has now had its named changed to Early Years Education Level 2 (which I prefer). I power walked all the way there at 20 past 3 thinking I was going to be late, not only did I work up a sweat but I got there in 20 minutes. My appointment wasn't until 4pm. I've never walked so fast in all my life, I can feel it in my legs now. But anyway, we went up to the room where the interview/talk was taking place and we were given a piece of paper and a pen to write a personal statement about ourselves and why we wanted to do the course. I was honest and explained that I was ready for the course now, as I'm gaining more confidence and I'm hoping the course will add to that. I also explained why I didn't have the confidence to follow my dreams before hand. After doing the personal statement we were sent upstairs to the computer room to do the dreaded English and Maths tests on the computer to see what level we are working at, to help them see which course we should be on. Oh and by the way when I say 'we' I mean the other ladies and one gentleman that was there too. I got through the English test no problem and came out as a level 2 which is awesome as I got a C in my GCSE. The Maths was a lot more difficult, I struggle with Maths. It isn't my strongest point, I got Entry Level 3 which is terrible and I got an F in my GCSE. Along with this course I have to take an extra course of GCSE Maths so I can progress on to level 3 of Early Years Education once I've finished level 2. This will be an evening class, I'm just hoping I do better second time around. After I had finished the tests I took my results back down to the room everybody was in and gave them to the woman that would be tutor if I got on the course. She was pleased with my English result and asked me why I wanted to do the course and I explained, I had to hold back a few tears as I could feel myself getting upset as I mentioned that being bullied at school and college in the past had knocked my confidence a lot but I'm ready now to do this. With that she wrote my name on her list and gave me a place. I'm so happy, college will be 1 day a week but I have to find 2 placements in 2 different nurseries which I will be at once a week. So technically I'll be doing 3 days a week at college but 2 of them will be on placement. It will be 3 and a half once I've put in my application for Maths which I'm going to do this week. I'm so proud of myself for not bottling it last minute. My future is starting to look very bright!

Climbing back on the horse even when it throws you off.

I've been thinking all day about how I was going to do this post, I know I didn't do a before weigh in post but this one will include everything that's happened over the past 4 days. I'll start with weigh in first though. Last night was weigh in and I felt positive after lots of walking over the weekend in the lovely sunshine. I stepped on the scales thinking I'd be so happy and I'd be in the next stone bracket and possibly have my 9 stone award, but I didn't. Instead I had gained what I had lost the week before 2.5lb, I tried to keep myself together but I was so angry so I cried. I left group without speaking to my consultant because she was busy giving new member talks and I didn't want to stay but I had left my new comparison picture with her. I got home, still crying and ate a tub of ice-cream. I got it all out of my system but I still felt like giving up because it just didn't feel like it was working for me anymore. The messages on Instagram were flooding in and I read them and cried more because even though I had a slight blip everybody's support means the absolute world to me. These are people I've never met in my life but they still made me feel that bit better. I also received a message on my slimming world groups, group on Facebook off a lovely lady I met when I first started my journey. My consultant had shown my comparison picture to the group, all the comments I got on the group were so lovely. I couldn't be sad anymore, it only made me more determined. These people are calling me an inspiration, what good would I be if I just gave up every time my body doesn't want to play ball? So today was a new day, I'm going back to the 5 syns and under rule for the week because it worked for me last time. I'm also drinking water instead of Pepsi Max to stop me from feeling so bloated. To cheer myself up I got myself a hooded top from Asda so I had something thin to wear whilst it's so warm, I tried a 16 on first and it fit perfectly. The happiness I got from trying an item of clothing on made the gain last night seem so small. From being a size 28 and worrying about things fitting to now trying on size 16/14 and them fitting makes me so happy.

Also a lady commented on my post last night on Instagram and said to list things I've achieved that have nothing to do with the scales, so I'm going to do that on here.

1. Clothes sizes - I no longer have to go straight to the plus size department in a store because I fit into the clothes that are in department with a bigger range of clothes instead of having to only wear stuff in the plus size range because that's all that fits. I've gone from a size 26/28 to 14/16.
2. Ashley - having a boyfriend who supports my journey is amazing, he's my biggest pick me up. I've come out of my shell a lot since meeting him. He puts up with me being a big grumpy bum far more than he should, but I'm glad he's stayed because I wouldn't be where I am now if didn't come along.
3. Going out - Since losing weight and meeting Ashley, I've started to leave the house a lot more. My anxiety is still really bad, I'm anxious and think people are looking at me and laughing all the time. But it's no where near as bad as it use to be. I'm still on medication for my anxiety and I'm still a paranoid polly but I'm trying my hardest to beat it.
4. Applying for college - I'd never in a million years thought I'd be going back to college again, especially after what had happened the last time. I have an interview this Thursday and I'm terrified but I'm also excited, it's what I want to do. I'm still worried I won't make friends and nobody will like me but this is a chance I've got to take.
5. Busy places - This is also connected to going out but it's kind of different. I have a phobia because of my anxiety of being in busy places (town, beaches, shopping centers etc). But I'm doing the scariest but most exciting thing in the world in August, I'm going to Leeds Fest with Ashley and his friends. I can't wait!

I'm determined for a big loss next week but I'm not going to put myself in a panic over it and I'm going to take it easy on myself. What will be, will be.

This weekend has been one of the best weekends I've had a long time, I went to Southport Beach with Ashley for the first time on Saturday, it was busy and the sun was shining. We had a slimming world picnic on the beach and even had a walk into the sea. On Sunday we went to Etherow Country Park and walked over 4 miles around the whole park, climbing over fences and up mucky paths. A lot of body magic and I was burnt but I've never had so much fun and I felt free. We had lunch on a bench over looking a beautiful view of hills, cows and trees. I didn't want the weekend to end. I won't be seeing Ashley until Sunday now, but that means I see him Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and then only have to wait Wednesday, Thursday until I see him again on Friday! Every cloud ay...

I hope you all have a lovely week and make the most of this beautiful weather and I hope all your weigh in's go well and you get the losses you deserve.

9

So last night was weigh in, I felt positive and I deserved to feel that way! I had a good week and stuck to plan. I was happy to see that I had lost 2.5lb taking me to a total loss of 8st 10.5lb, which means I am now 3.5lb away from receiving my 9 stone shiny sticker! I'm going to do extra body magic this week to ensure I get it next week. I'm now currently 15st half a pound, when I stood on the scales I saw the 14st bracket flicker and I got so excited! I want to see them properly next week, I'll be over the moon. So I'm looking forward to another good week of great food choices and lots of body magic. I ordered a 5kg kettle bell on Sunday off Amazon so I could tone my bingo wings, that should be here Friday so I shall start that next week. I really hope it works because looking at them does make me really sad and they make me feel disgusting. It's the same with my tummy and thighs but I'm still aware I have a lot more to lose so maybe they will shrink away. Fingers crossed!

I'm making Chicken Chow Mein from the Fake Away Book tonight, it's half a syn per portion and is absolutely gorgeous. So gorgeous in fact that me and Ashley made it twice last week, even his dad enjoyed it! I have lots of meal planning to do for the week a head and a shopping list to write for tomorrow. I love Wednesdays and I love food.

Hope you all have a good week and good luck with your weigh in's. I shall keep everything crossed for you all.

Everything is awesome!

Life right now seems to only being going the right way, which is up! I received another letter from college inviting me to an interview/enrolling day on the 22nd of May. I'm excited but rather scared too, it's all real now! I can do this, it's bettering my life and I'm not letting my dreams take a back seat just because my mental health wants to hold me back all the time. So hopefully all being well I shall be a Student again come September. This time I'm not giving up, I'm going to carry on until I've finished the course and got the job I can only dream of. It makes me happy to think this time last year my life was in a rut, I didn't think I'd ever make progress. Little did I know that I'd decide to make the biggest decision of my life a year on. I'm glad I have now, it will give me plenty to look forward to.

I've had a lovely weekend in Stoke, the rain bounced down majority of the weekend mind. We said goodbye to Ashley's old car Nigel, he's finally been sold. In 10 months we had lots of lovely memories in that car, Chester Zoo and he even though he was old he still got us to London and back in January! So it was sad. I've read near 2 books in a few days both by John Green, who at the moment is one of my favourite authors. I've read The Fault in Our Stars and I'm almost finished reading Looking for Alaska. So on Sunday I purchased Paper Towns and An Abundance of Katherines. I'm looking forward to reading both, it was buy 1 get the other for £1 in WHSMITH so it would be rude not to!

It's Monday which means it's weigh day! I'm feeling positive but trying not to think so much about it, I know I've stuck to plan and had a great week. Lets hope the scales thinks so too. I shall upload my results on Instagram later tonight and I shall do a post tomorrow at some point. It's Game of Thrones date night tonight! Yippeeeee. Although me and Ashley will both be in separate houses, we will face time afterwards! :D

If you are getting weighed today too, good luck! If you don't get what you want, today is the start of a new week.

Dog number 5, posh restaurants and smaller sizes.

Sorry it's taken me over a week to do my latest post, it's been a busy week/weekend. Saturday morning I went dress hunting for a pretty little number for mine and Ashley's date to the Vermilion and Cinnabar, Monday night after weigh in. Well when I say dress hunting I had already found the dress I wanted on the Dorothy Perkins website but I wanted to go and try it on first. So I went with my mum and brother to town Saturday morning and I grabbed an 18 and 16 just to be safe and tried the 16 on first, to my surprise it was a little roomy but fit lovely. I sent my mum for a 14 just to see if it looked much better but they didn't have it in a 14 just a 12 and there was no way I was squeezing into that just yet. So I settled for the 16 but was rather happy that I could have got my butt into a 14! The only problem was I hated how horrid my arms looked, I could set flight with the bingo wings I've got lumbered away. But to sort that I got a little short cardigan type thing from Primark to cover them.

On Sunday we received a visit from Mika, my auntie that passed away, Chihuahua. My dad said if our other Chihuahua's were fine with her being there then she can live with us permanently. They were fine with her and we now have a 5th Chihuahua to the gang, she's very quiet at the moment and has only just started eating. The poor thing has been through a lot, but she's like my shadow, she follows me everywhere. Me and Ashley took her for a walk to Hollingworth Lake with Rufus on Tuesday just to see how she would be and she enjoyed it and was an angel to walk. It's nice to have a part of my aunt with us now, as she was the apple of my auntie Sonya's eye.

Monday's weigh in was a success, after gaining 2lb last week and being mortified and crying. I lost 3lb taking me to 8st 8lb loss. I'm so happy and now 6lb away from my 9 stone award. I will get it, I will! I've been making great food choices this week even after my treat meal with Ashley at the Vermilion, which was incredible we was still stuff the next morning! It was all fancy chicken and other meats, egg fried rice and cheese + garlic naan bread. The cocktails were gorgeous too! And non-alcoholic. It was a lovely evening, the place was so fancy! I've never been to a fancy restaurant before and it was nice to go to my first one with Ashley. I'm off to Stoke on Friday afternoon for the weekend, I can't wait to see Ashley again and I've only been away from him for less than 24 hours. Looking forward to being away for a few days though, on plan as always as I go armed with Slimming World books and my food diary.

Hope you all have an amazing week/weekend and have had or have good losses!