Do I really want to do this?

Right, I did mention in one post when I got into a new stone bracket I'd maybe post how much I weighed at the start of my journey and how much I weigh at the moment. It's quite a big thing for me because well nobody likes to tell anybody how much they weigh, do they? The confidence I lack and worries I have will obviously still interfere with how I feel about myself. Even though I'm losing weight, I still feel really shit about myself. But then again I don't think there is a single female on this earth that isn't insecure about something or doesn't like something about themselves. If you are female and love everything about yourself then I envy you. I remember my Councillor asking me to write a list of 5-10 things I liked about myself and I couldn't even write one thing. Ashley gave me a list as long as his arm but I didn't agree. It's really frustrating, when people say nice things to me I don't actually know how to take them so I just say thank you which is obviously the right thing to say even if I don't agree with them. It may be down to the fact I was bullied at school etc. Anyway back to my main focus of this post, my weight. It took me a few months before I told Ashley how much I had weighed before and now (well at the time), he was lovely about it and didn't judge me. Still rather embarrassing though he's going out with a baby elephant that was once well... an adult elephant. Sometimes I worry that my size will scare him off and he will get fed up of me and it scares me. I never feel pretty when wearing nice dresses and it makes me paranoid. After losing 8 stone I feel like maybe it's not such a bad idea to share my weight with everybody, it's disappearing. I just don't want people to judge me and I fear that I will get some nasty comments, that's my problem I worry about what everybody thinks of me when I shouldn't. But here goes!

I'm hoping to be at least 13.11 by my birthday in June. My main target is 10 stone, but I'm going to stop when I'm happy whether that's 11 stone or 9 and half stone. I want to feel comfortable with myself so I shall let you know when that actually happens!