avoiding custard creams.

Hello wonderful person that has stumbled across my blog.
My name is Rebecca, I'm 22 years old and I'm from Manchester, England. I've been 'Fat' or for those that hate that word 'Slightly larger than everybody else' for as long as I can remember. I loved food, I still love food but my relationship with it has changed.

Growing up being a large child wasn't easy, I was repeatedly called names because of my size. But instead of doing something about it, I comfort ate. Now comfort eating became my source of help for years, although it wasn't actually helping the situation it just made me feel better for a little bit. Starting high school was the worst time of my life, I desperately wanted to make friends and for people to like me. I became the loud, bubbly friend because that made up for the fact I didn't fit in because of the way I looked. I was bullied for the first two years of high school, I was sad and alone. I contemplated suicide because I couldn't find a way out. I wrote my mum a letter telling her I'd be better off dead, now obviously I didn't go threw with it. My mum went marching in to the school and sorted it all out. School got better for the remaining three years, I did get the odd comment off some girls but I chose to ignore it. Finally leaving school I went to college, I was larger and unhappier. I had lost the little confidence I had, and again I had more problems at college with sly comments. I just couldn't escape from it, I tried so many diets threw out school and college but non of them seemed to work. After I left college my life spiraled out of control, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. My source of comfort wasn't just eating anymore it was self harming too. I wouldn't leave the house which meant I got larger, it took me 5 years of suffering to finally bite the bullet and go with my mum to our local Slimming World group. I was terrified, I hadn't interacted with people outside my house for so long. The consultant was so lovely which eased my nerves, she explained how the plan worked. I couldn't quite get my head around the fact I could still eat so much and lose weight. I was still optimistic until I got weighed the following week and had lost 3.5lb and then continued to lose week after week. I'm now 7 stone lighter with still just over 6 more stone to lose but I will do it. I thought I'd be large forever and nobody would ever love me, that was until I met Ashley in July this year. He has changed my life and made me more determined and he loves me for me. I've started to smile and laugh again and it's all thanks to him.

So this is my blog of progress and just generally my life.